Tuesday, July 23, 2019
Distorted picture Essay Example for Free
Distorted picture Essay Some people regard science as the supreme form of knowledge, because science provides facts. People tend to see science as true, justified, reliable, precise and objective. However there is a significant difference between natural and social sciences. Natural sciences use the basic scientific method to find the facts about the world we live in, the natural events and processes that take place in our world. The basic scientific method or nai ve inductivism follows five stages which include observation, information, generalization, theory and explanation and prediction. However though the basic scientific method seems perfectly reliable, there may be some problems which could challenge science as the supreme form of knowledge. Social sciences study human behaviour, relationships and society. These are very subjective and very difficult to measure. The results can be distorted by the scientists because completely objective observation is even more difficult in natural sciences because seeing what you want to see gives a distorted picture. The famous philosopher David Hume (1711-1776) who was a very radical empiricist and sceptic was concerned with limits to knowledge. According to his theories science cannot give us accurate knowledge and thus should not have such a high status. The problems of natural sciences, basic scientific method and Humes theory of causation that challenges science as the supreme form of knowledge is going to be discussed further in this essay. The social sciences study human behaviour and their relationships. There are several fields of social sciences including anthropology, political science, psychology, sociology and economics. However it is important to note that human behaviour is so inconsistent and influenced by so many variables that it is impossible to measure it precisely. The problem lies also in the social scientists themselves because they are humans as well as the subjects of their attention. It is virtually impossible for them to give a completely objective observation. Firstly they are studying things that cant be measured in human behaviour such as concentration or motivation. Secondly there is the problem that if the subject of their study knows he or she is being watched, he or she can consciously or unconsciously behave in a different way than they would otherwise. Also if the person hears the prediction of the results of the experiments, they might deliberately behave in such a way either to fulfil it or not. That means that social scientists prediction can influence human behaviour. Simply being seen by the unhidden scientist distorts what is seen. Another problem of social scientists is that they see what they want to see. They cannot separate their wishes, what they want to see, from what they see in the reality. Therefore social sciences are very imprecise and unreliable. The natural sciences use the basic scientific method which contains five stages that help the scientists to come to a conclusion. Firstly, they observe through their senses a particular set of events, they record the observation that they have made and after that they make certain generalisations which form a theory. The theory helps to form prediction for the future. Natural sciences are regarded as much more reliable than social sciences because their theories can be tested more easily and the tests can be repeated several times under identical conditions. It is not so easy for the natural scientists to distort the results as for the social scientists. However, there are certain problems with this method that make it seem unreliable too. Firstly, it has to be mentioned that observation comes through our senses. Unfortunately, our senses can be quite easily deceived. It is impossible to make our senses completely objective. We often see what we believe we should see or what we want to see or our hearing can be again influenced by our belief or a wish. This means that we cannot trust our senses completely. Secondly, science as an activity that is supposed to be detached from emotional content, however the scientists doing the experiments and the observations are humans an they cannot detach from their nature. Simply they can observe things that they want to observe because of many reasons such as political, financial, practical and also personal motives. And thirdly there is the problem of the observational statement which means that the scientists have to put their observations into words, which can influence the effect that the observation makes on people. Then there is the problem of the way we treat and use our knowledge. The process of inductive reasoning that we use in our everyday life follows this pattern: the experience or the observation comes first and based on it a prediction for the future or a general statement is made. There is a big strength about this way of reasoning. Firstly, science is based on this kind of reasoning and most of the people regard science as the supreme form of knowledge. Secondly it is quite obvious that the human race couldnt function without inductive reasoning because most or even all of our thinking processes follow the rules of inductive reasoning. If inductive reasoning was wrong, then human beings couldnt be classed as rational beings. However, there are weaknesses in this inductive reasoning that really raise doubts about human beings as rational beings. It is important to see that there is no necessary connection between the past and the future and also that the observation made could have been mistaken. The unconnected past and future can be very well expressed in Bertrand Russellstory about an inductivist turkey1. This story explains that we cannot make predictions or statements based on our past experience and observations because they are absolutely independent from what will happen in the future. This flaw of inductive reasoning seriously challenges the knowledge obtained through science because science is based on past observations. But if inductive reasoning is really wrong then science is based on very uncertain grounds. The philosopher David Hume created a theory which challenged the idea of causation. Causation means one event causing another, But can we really say that one event caused another? Usually when we see event A and then event B which followed event A, we tend to say that event B was caused by event A. But actually we observed just event A followed by event B, we didnt observe the cause the link between A and B. So to say that event B happened because of event A is not the same as to say that event A happened and then event B happened. We never experience the cause. An example can be day followed by night. In the past, the day was always followed by night and yet the day is not the cause of night. Day and night are both caused by something else (rotation of the earth on its axis as it goes around the Sun). So the connection between these two things can be invariant without either of them being the cause of the other. If this all is right, then science is again put into a very strange position and it seems to be based on very uncertain foundations and we can never talk about anything with absolute certainty. According to Hume, just the reason that we believe that the sun will rise every morning is based on our past experience and though it may be true that the sun has risen every morning of our lives, this is not enough evidence to guarantee the truth of the thesis that the sun will always rise. In social sciences the major problem is the inconsistency of human behaviour. If people regard social sciences as the supreme form of knowledge, they misunderstand the way social sciences work. It is impossible to rely completely on social sciences because there are too many variables that can influence the results. However if people regard natural sciences as the supreme form of knowledge, they misunderstand knowledge very much because there are so many problems and mistakes in human reasoning and the way they process information and deduce conclusions from information that was processed in a wrong way or was inadequate to support the conclusion. This theory can be very much supported by the theory of David Hume, a famous philosopher, who challenged science very much by his laws of causation. 1The turkey found that, on his first morning at the turkey farm, that he was fed at 9 a. m. Being a good inductivist turkey he did not jump to conclusions. He waited until he collected a large number of observations that he was fed at 9 a. m. and made these observations under a wide range of circumstances, on Wednesdays, on Thursdays, on cold days, on warm days. Each day he added another observation statement to his list. Finally he was satisfied that he had collected a number of observation statements to inductively infer that I am always fed at 9 a. m. However on the morning of Christmas eve he was not fed but instead had his throat cut. http://marr. bsee. swin. edu. au/~dtl/het704/lecture3/logfals/node6. html, 20th September 2004
Monday, July 22, 2019
English Learning Essay Example for Free
English Learning Essay This case study is based on Patricia, a Spanish national in her twenties who is in her last year studying an Economics degree course. She is also a student on the Elementary course at the British Language Centre. Patriciaââ¬â¢s started learning English at the bi-lingual school she attended. She learnt English for 3 years but did not take any official examinations, but sees this as a possibility for the future. At school she learnt English because it was obligatory. The only other language she speaks is Spanish. She started attending the British Language Centre (which she still attends) to help her find a job in an international company and to prepare her for her visit to Eastbourne, East Sussex (UK) in July. She will be staying with a house family for one month and hopes to improve her English and use all of the language she has been learning to date. Her reasons for learning English are a combination of extrinsic and intrinsic ones. The main reason she is motivated to learn English is because she believes it will help her find a good job and earn loads of money, she also reads a lot about English culture and customs and watches films in English with subtitles for her own enjoyment. This can also be related to her learning styles. The results of her ââ¬Å"multiple intelligencesâ⬠questionnaire indicates that her learning style preferences are linguistic, spatial and interpersonal. Her conversations in English refer to things that she has read or heard, she enjoys solving mazes and other visual puzzles and considers herself to be a leader. 3 Problems and Possible solutions with Grammar The student enjoys English grammar, and generally finds it much easier than Spanish grammar. An example of this is the verb formations. She normally uses the correct tense when speaking in English but sometimes uses the infinitive form instead of the progressive. ââ¬Å"I readâ⬠instead of ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m readingâ⬠. Spanish often use an infinitive where English would use a progressive; this can be
Sunday, July 21, 2019
How Firms Decide Between Risk Retention And Transfer Finance Essay
How Firms Decide Between Risk Retention And Transfer Finance Essay Generally, the purpose of risk management is value maximization for a for-profit organization. In other words, risk management aims to maximize value by minimizing the cost of risk. Total costs of pure risk include costs of control and costs of financing. This essay focuses on risk financing. There are two broad methods of risk financing: risk retention and risk transfer. Risk transfer contains insurance and other contractual risk transfers. At the beginning of this assay, I am going to introduce the concept of retention, insurance, and contractual risk transfers, and their advantages and disadvantages. Then I will discuss how a firm should decide between risk retention and risk transfer, if a captive insurer is not to be employed. Finally, I will discuss how a firm, having a captive insurer, should finance its pure risk losses. With retention, a business retains the obligation to pay for part or all of the losses. When coupled with a formal plan to fund losses for medium-to-large businesses, retention often is called self-insurance. (Harrington and Niehaus 1999 Page 12) Retention can be financed via a captive insurance company (an insurance company owned by a non-insurance company which is also its customer), a risk retention group, cash flows from ongoing activities, and general working capital (the excess of the firms liquid assets over its short-term liabilities). In addition, firms can also obtain funds by borrowing, loans, issuing new stock and selling other business asset, such as buildings and cars. Funds to pay retained losses should be large so that there is enough money to pay retained losses. In addition, the retained losses are unpredictable, and they may be large or small. However, there is an opportunity cost for a fund. The opportunity cost is the difference between the return on the fund and the firms normal rate of return. As a result of this, if funds are large, the opportunity costs will be large; if funds are small, they may fail to pay all losses. In addition, there may also be costs incurred in converting non-liquid assets into cash for settling losses. (Dr. David Ayling 2009) Risk transfer includes insurance and contractual risk transfers. Insurance is a form of risk management primarily. A firm could purchase insurance contacts to cover risk losses. Insurance is defined as the equitable transfer of the risk of a loss, from one entity to another, in exchange for a premium, and can be thought of as a guaranteed and known small loss to prevent a large, possibly devastating loss. An insurer is a company selling the insurance; an insured or policyholder is the person or entity buying the insurance. (Web 1) Firms can transfer some of risk losses to insurance company by insurance contracts. According to Dr. David Ayling (2009), the benefits of insurance include reduction of uncertainty, loss control advice, liquidity of company protected, long term planning mire feasible, and access to large risk combination services. On the other hands, insurance does not cover loss of goodwill, loss of market share, lost customers and suppliers, and so no. In addition, some r isks are not insurable, such as risk losses are too large, risks are not measurable, risks are not predictable, and so on. Firms can also use some contractual risk transfers to transfer risk to another party. For example, if a firm wants to build a house, and hire a construction company to build the house, it could perform some task routinely into contracts, such as if workers or pedestrians are injured by accidence when the house is building, the construction company pay for these losses; and if the house crashes after it is completed, the construction company will be responsible for it. Having introduced risk retention and risk transfer, the following will discuss how a firm should decide between risk retention and risk transfer, if a captive insurer is not to be employed. Both risk retention and risk transfer is important and primary methods for risk financing. How should a firm decide the methods of risk management? The severity and frequency probability of risk losses determine which method should be used to finance risk losses. According to Dr. David Ayling (2009), when the frequency probabilities of pure risks are low and their severities are high, then the method of risk transfer would be better to finance the risk losses, because the severities are high, which means the risk losses may be large. If using risk retention, they need large funds to finance the risk losses so that the opportunity costs of the funds will be large. As a result, the risks could be transferred to insurer or another party by buying insurance or making contracts. However, risk retention may be better, if the frequency probabilities of pure risks are low and their severities are low. Because they need only small funds to cover the risks as both frequency probabilities and s everities are low. In addition, the insurance may be expensive; commonly the price of the insurance is high than the opportunity cost of retention. Even more, the risk losses may not be covered by insurance. When the frequency probabilities of risk losses are high, both retention and insurance are not better methods, because the risk losses will continually happen. As a result, if the severities of the risk losses are high, we should avoid these risks. In the other words, we should abandon these businesses, because they are too dangerous; if the severities of the risk losses are low, we should control it by increasing precautions and limits on risk activity designed to reduce the frequency and severity of accidents. (Harrington and Niehaus 1999 Page 23) There is an important factor that may affect firms decision between retention and insurance. The factor is tax. When calculating its taxable income, a noninsurance company can only deduct losses that were paid during the year. In contrast, an insurer can deduct the discounted value of incurred losses, which equals losses paid during the year plus the change during the year in the discounted value of its liability for unpaid claims. This distinction essentially allows insurers to deduct losses earlier than noninsurance companies, which all else equal increases the present value of expected tax deductions if a loss exposure is insured. Although the tax break is granted to insurers, competition among insurers for business will cause most or even the entire tax break to be given to policyholders through lower premiums. (Harrington and Niehaus 1999 Page 218) In practice, many large companies have established captive insurance companies. These companies make payment to their captive insurers, which then pay losses to the large companies. It is an important method of financing losses for large firms, and can be viewed as a special type of retention and self-insurance. If a firm has a captive insurer, the firm should finance risk losses by buy insurance from its captive insurer. A firm could benefit a lot by using a captive insurer. To begin with, the parent company could reduce expected tax payments relative to retention. As I have discussed before, insurance has a tax advantage compared with retention. In addition, Dr. David Ayling (2009) mentioned that the parent company could access to the reinsurance markets through its captive. The parent first buys insurance through its captive, which then purchases reinsurance. Finally, Harrington and Niehaus (1999) said captive also can be used to reduce risk. The parents risk exposures will be poo led with other unrelated companies exposures, if its captive sells insurance or reinsurance to other unrelated companies. Consequently, a large firm will benefit from its captive insurer in reducing expected tax payments, accessing to the reinsurance markets, and reducing risk through the captives transaction. In conclusion, as retention and insurance have their own advantages and disadvantages, the frequency probabilities and severities of risks determine which methods of risk financing should be used. Insurance is a good risk financing method for a low frequency and high severity risk; in contrast, retention is a good risk financing method for a low frequency and low severity risk. For many large companies, using a captive insurer becomes an important method of financing losses. Captives could benefit their parent company from reducing expected tax payments, accessing to the reinsurance markets, and reducing risk through the captives transaction. However, according to Dr. David Ayling (2009), if risk losses could be transferred to someone other than an insurer at a cheaper cost, or can be prevented or reduced at a cost cheaper than insurance, insurance and retention are not the best methods of risk losses financing, because risk management aims to maximize value by minimizing the cost of risk. Bibliography and Reference Dr. David Ayling (2009) Corporate Risk Managements handout, Bangor University. Harrington, S. E, Niehaus, G. R, (1999) Risk Management and Insurance, Boston: Irwin/McGraw-Hill. Web 1: Wikipedia (2009) Insurance (Online) Wikimedia Foundations, Inc: USA. Available from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insurance (Accessed 8/12/09)
Saturday, July 20, 2019
Sir Francis Drake :: Essays Papers
Sir Francis Drake ââ¬Å"El Draqueâ⬠or ââ¬Å"The Dragonâ⬠the Spanish called this English admiral out of fear. Sir Francis Drake was born at Crownsdale, near Tavistock, Devon around the 1540ââ¬â¢s. He served, as an apprentice in the Thames Coastal Trade after his father became a preacher at Chatham. He led several expeditions against the Spanish Main as well as an attack against the Spanish city of Cadiz. Drake was the first Englishman to circumnavigate the globe and he helped defeat the Spanish Armada in 1588. He was a successful privateer, a talented navigator and one of the most famous seamen in history. Drake made several voyages to the Caribbean with English seaman John Hawkins in the 1560ââ¬â¢s, which were the early years of Drakeââ¬â¢s career. They were not privateering voyages, but attempts to smuggle Spanish goods into the colonies. On the third voyage Hawkinsââ¬â¢ fleet of six ships, one commanded by Sir Francis Drake, were driven into the Gulf of Mexico by a hurricane. The ships were led into the Vera Cruz port and demanded supplies. The Spanish however had a different plan of assaulting and killing many men and destroying four ships. Drake and Hawkins returned to England safely but, this incident led to Drakeââ¬â¢s desire for revenge on the Spaniards. In 1572 Drake sailed from England with two ships and 73 men. They landed at a small island called the Isle of Pines and began preparations for his attack on the Spanish. His plan was to sack the city of Nombre de Dios. On their first attempt they did not succeed but they made another soon after. They then took the town of Nombre de Dios on the Isthmus of Panama, they captured a ship in the harbor of Cartagena, they burned Portobello, they crossed and re-crossed the isthmus, and they captured three mule trains bearing 30 tons of silver. Drakeââ¬â¢s real opportunity came in 1577 when Queen Elizabeth gave him a grant to make the first circumnavigation of the world by an Englishman. On December 13th Drake sailed from Plymouth in the Golden Hind with four other small ships and about 160 men. They were set out to raid the Spanish property on the Pacific coast of the New World. He abandoned two ships in the Rio de Plata in South America, and, with the remaining three, navigated the Straights of Magellan.
The Navajo Code Talkers Essays -- History Navajo Indians Language Essa
The Navajo Code Talkers During the Pacific portion of World War II, increasingly frequent instances of broken codes plagued the United States Marine Corps. Because the Japanese had become adept code breakers, at one point a code based on a mathematical algorithm could not be considered secure for more than 24 hours. Desperate for an answer to the apparent problem, the Marines decided to implement a non-mathematical code; they turned to Philip Johnston's concept of using a coded Navajo language for transmissions. Although this idea had been successfully implemented during World War I using the Choctaw Indian's language, history generally credits Philip Johnston for the idea to use Navajos to transmit code across enemy lines. Philip recognized that people brought up without hearing Navajo spoken had no chance at all to decipher this unwritten, strangely syntactical, and guttural language (Navajo). Fortunately, Johnston was capable of developing this idea because his missionary father had raised him on the Navajo reservation. As a child, Johnston learned the Navajo language as he grew up along side his many Navajo friends (Lagerquist 19). With this knowledge of the language, Johnston was able to expand upon the idea of Native Americans transmitting messages in their own language in order to fool enemies who were monitoring transmissions. Not only did the Code Talkers transmit messages in Navajo, but the messages were also spoken in a code that Navajos themselves could not understand (Paul 7). This code actually proved vital to the success of the Allied efforts in World War II. Because the Code Talkers performed their duty expertly and efficiently, the Marines could count on both the ... ...ation Fund: 1975. McColm, George. "An Ungrateful Nation." American History. May 12 1999. <http://www.binary.net/edjolie/02972_text.html> Nash, Gerald. The American West Transformed. Bloomington: Indiana UP, 1985. "Navajo Code Talkers in World War II." May 12 1999. <http://www.history.navy.mil/faqs/faq61-2.htm> Paul, Doris A. The Navajo Code Talkers. Pittsburgh: Dorrance Publishing Co. Inc., 1973. Sanchez, George. "The People" A Study of the Navajo. Lawrence: Haskell Institute Print Shop, 1948. Shaffer, Mark. "Navajos Fighting for War medals, Highest Honor for Code Talkers." The Arizona Republic. May 12 1999. <http://web.lexis-nexis.com/universe/> Department of the Interior. You asked about the Navajo! Lawrence: Haskell Institute, 1961. Indian Affairs Bureau. The Navajo. Report of J.A. Krug, Secretary of the Interior. 1948.
Friday, July 19, 2019
A Brain Drain Essay examples -- Biology Essays Research Papers
A Brain Drain Anthrax, arteriovenous malformation (cerebral), chronic inflammatory, polyneuropathy, dementia due to metabolic causes, encephalitis, epilepsy, febrile seizure (children), generalized tonic-clonic seizure, Guillain-Barre syndrome, hydrocephalus, inhalation anthrax, treatments involving leukemia and neuroblastoma, malignant diseases involving the brain or spinal cord, meningitis, multiple sclerosis, normal pressure hydrocephalus (NPH), pituitary tumor, polio, Reye's syndrome, subarachnoid brain hemorrhage, syphilis, tertiary, etc. Seems like quite an extensive list, and yet the list goes on to include hundreds of dehabilitating diseases which can affect the central nervous system. One thing that all of these conditions have in common is the potential to be discovered with the evidence from a procedure know as the lumbar puncture (spinal tap or cisternal puncture). Over spring break, I had the wonderful opportunity to intern with a neurologist. During this time, I viewed the lumbar puncture. As painful and invasive as I had imagined it, it was not. I learned that the lumbar puncture is actually a quite simple and absolutely amazing procedure, much less painful than an intravenous or drawing blood. There is an exorbidant amount of information which can be obtained from the cerebrospinal fluid. Lumbar punctures are an outpatient procedure, usually performed by a neurologist, pediatrician, or family doctor and lasting only a few minutes. The goal of the tap is to collect and measure the pressure of the cerebro spinal fluid (CSF) which surrounds, cusions, and protects the brain and spinal cord. The CSF is a dense water-like fluid secreted by the brain and "flows through the skull and spine into the subara... ...e question and answer bulletin board. http://209.67.220.19/mayo/askphys/qa990215.htm 3)Picture of Lumbar Puncture Tray. http://www.neocare.com/_borders/lpk.ht1.jpg 4)Image of Lumbar Puncture http://night.medsch.ucla.edu/problem/wwid95/SPINLTP2.gif 5)Lumbar Puncture Procedures, For med students. http://www.medstudents.com.br/proced/lumbpunc.htm 6)Ask the Mayo Physician, More responses from the bulletin board. http://www.healthanswers.com/database/ami/converted/003515.html 7)Healthanswers medical research library. http://www.healthanswers.com/database/ami/converted/003526.html 8)Health central, More information from healthcentral, with image. http://www.healthcentral.com/mhc/img/img2930.cffm 9) Medical review., An informative site with lumbar puncture information. http://cpmcnet.columbia.edu/news/review/archives/medrev_v1n1_0010.html
Thursday, July 18, 2019
Zoe’s Tale PART II Chapter Fourteen
ââ¬Å"No, you're still too low,â⬠I said to Gretchen. ââ¬Å"It's making you flat. You need to be a note higher or something. Like this.â⬠I sang the part I wanted her to sing. ââ¬Å"I am singing that,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"No, you're singing lower than that,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Then you're singing the wrong note,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"Because I'm singing the note you're singing. Go ahead, sing it.â⬠I cleared my throat, and sang the note I wanted her to sing. She matched it perfectly. I stopped singing and listened to Gretchen. She was flat. ââ¬Å"Well, nuts,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I told you,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"If I could pull up the song for you, you could hear the note and sing it,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"If you could pull up the song, we wouldn't be trying to sing it at all,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"We'd just listen to it, like civilized human beings.â⬠ââ¬Å"Good point,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"There's nothing good about it,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"I swear to you, Zoe. I knew coming to a colony world was going to be hard. I was ready for that. But if I knew they were going to take my PDA, I might have just stayed back on Erie. Go ahead, call me shallow.â⬠ââ¬Å"Shallow,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Now tell me I'm wrong,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"I dare you.â⬠I didn't tell her she was wrong. I knew how she felt. Yes, it was shallow to admit that you missed your PDA. But when you'd spent your whole life able to call up everything you wanted to amuse you on a PDA ââ¬â music, shows, books and friends ââ¬â when you had to part with it, it made you miserable. Really miserable. Like ââ¬Å"trapped on a desert island with nothing but coconuts to bang togetherâ⬠miserable. Because there was nothing to replace it with. Yes, the Colonial Mennonites had brought their own small library of printed books, but most of that consisted of Bibles and agricultural manuals and a few ââ¬Å"classics,â⬠of which Huckleberry Finn was one of the more recent volumes. As for popular music and entertainments, well, they didn't much truck with that. You could tell a few of the Colonial Mennonite teens thought it was funny to watch the rest of us go through entertainment withdrawal. Didn't seem very Christian of them, I have to say. On the other hand, they weren't the ones whose lives had been drastically altered by landing on Roanoke. If I were in their shoes and watching a whole bunch of other people whining and moaning about how horrible it was that their toys were taken away, I might feel a little smug, too. We did what people do in situations where they go without: We adjusted. I hadn't read a book since we landed on Roanoke, but was on the waiting list for a bound copy of The Wizard of Oz. There were no recorded shows or entertainments but Shakespeare never fails; there was a reader's theater performance of Twelfth Night planned for a week from Sunday. It promised to be fairly gruesome ââ¬â I'd heard some of the read-throughs ââ¬â but Enzo was reading the part of Sebastian, and he was doing well enough, and truth be told it would be the first time I would have ever experienced a Shakespeare play ââ¬â or any play other than a school pageant ââ¬â live. And it's not like there would be anything else to do anyway. And as for music, well, this is what happened: Within a couple days of landing a few of the colonists hauled out guitars and accordions and hand drums and other such instruments and started trying to play together. Which went horribly, because nobody knew anyone else's music. It was like what happened on the Magellan. So they started teaching each other their songs, and then people showed up to sing them, and then people showed up to listen. And thus it was, at the very tail end of space, when no one was looking, the colony of Roanoke reinvented the ââ¬Å"hootenanny.â⬠Which is what Dad called it. I told him it was a stupid name for it, and he said he agreed, but said that the other word for it ââ¬â ââ¬Å"wingdingâ⬠ââ¬â was worse. I couldn't argue with that. The Roanoke Hootenanners (as they were now calling themselves) took requests ââ¬â but only if the person requesting sang the song. And if the musicians didn't know the song, you'd have to sing it at least a couple of times until they could figure out how to fake it. This led to an interesting development: singers started doing a cappella versions of their favorite songs, first by themselves and increasingly in groups, which might or might not be accompanied by the Hootenanners. It was becoming a point of pride for people to show up with their favorite songs already arranged, so everyone else in the audience didn't have to suffer through a set of dry runs before it was all listenable. It was safe to say that some of these arrangements were more arranged than others, to put it politely, and some folks sang with the same vocal control as a cat in a shower. But now, a couple of months after the hootenannies had begun, people were beginning to get the hang of it. And people had begun coming to the hoots with new songs, arranged a cappella. One of the most popular songs at the recent hoots was ââ¬Å"Let Me Drive the Tractorâ⬠ââ¬â the tale of a colonist being taught to drive a manual tractor by a Mennonite, who, because they were the only ones who knew how to operate noncomputerized farm machinery, had been put in charge of planting crops and teaching the rest of us how to use their equipment. The song ends with the tractor going into a ditch. It was based on a true story. The Mennonites thought the song was pretty funny, even though it came at the cost of a wrecked tractor. Songs about tractors were a long way from what any of us had been listening to before, but then, we were a long way from where any of us were before, in any sense, so maybe that fit. And to get all sociological about it, maybe what it meant was that twenty or fifty standard years down the line, whenever the Colonial Union decided to let us get in contact with the rest of the human race, Roanoke would have its own distinct musical form. Maybe they'll call it Roanokapella. Or Hootenoke. Or something. But at this particular moment, all I was trying to do was to get the right note for Gretchen to sing so she and I could go to the next hoot with a halfway decent version of ââ¬Å"Delhi Morningâ⬠for the Hootenanners to pick up on. And I was failing miserably. This is what it feels like when you realize that, despite a song being your favorite of maybe all time, you don't actually know every little nook and cranny of it. And since my copy of the song was on my PDA, which I could no longer use or even had anymore, there was no way to correct this problem. Unless. ââ¬Å"I have an idea,â⬠I said to Gretchen. ââ¬Å"Does it involve you learning to sing on key?â⬠Gretchen asked. ââ¬Å"Even better,â⬠I said. Ten minutes later we were on the other side of Croatoan, standing in front of the village's information center ââ¬â the one place on the entire planet that you'd still find a functioning piece of electronics, because the inside was designed to completely block any radio or other signals of any sort. The technology to do this, sadly, was rare enough that we only had enough of it for a converted cargo container. The good news was, they were making more. The bad news was, they were only making enough for a medical bay. Sometimes life stinks. Gretchen and I walked into the receiving area, which was pitch black because of the signal-cloaking material; you had to close the outer door to the information center before you could open the inner door. So for about a second and a half it was like being swallowed by grim, black, featureless death. Not something I'd recommend. And then we opened the inner door and found a geek inside. He looked at the both of us, a little surprised, and then got that no look. ââ¬Å"The answer is no,â⬠he said, confirming the look. ââ¬Å"Aw, Mr. Bennett,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"You don't even know what we're going to ask.â⬠ââ¬Å"Well, let's see,â⬠said Jerry Bennett. ââ¬Å"Two teenage girls ââ¬â daughters of the colony leaders, incidentally ââ¬â just happen to walk into the only place in the colony where one could play with a PDA. Hmmm. Are they here to beg to play with a PDA? Or are they here because they enjoy the company of a chunky, middle-aged man? This is not a hard question, Miss Perry.â⬠ââ¬Å"We just want to listen to one song,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"We'll be out of your hair in just a minute.â⬠Bennett sighed. ââ¬Å"You know, at least a couple times a day someone just like you gets the bright idea to come in here and ask if I could just let them borrow a PDA to watch a movie, or listen to some music or read a book. And, oh, it'll just take a minute. I won't even notice they're there. And if I say yes, then other people will come in asking for the same time. Eventually I'll spend so much time helping people with their PDAs that I won't have time to do the work your parents, Miss Perry, have assigned me to do. So you tell me: What should I do?â⬠ââ¬Å"Get a lock?â⬠said Gretchen. Bennett glanced over to Gretchen, sourly. ââ¬Å"Very amusing,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"What are you doing for my parents?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"Your parents are having me slowly and painstakingly locate and print every single Colonial Union administration memo and file, so they can refer to them without having to come in here and bother me,â⬠Bennett said. ââ¬Å"In one sense I appreciate that, but in a more immediate sense I've been doing it for the last three days and I'm likely to be doing it for another four. And since the printer I have to work with jams on a regular basis, it does actually require someone to pay attention to it. And that's me. So there you have it, Miss Perry: Four years of technical education and twenty years of professional work have allowed me to become a printer monkey at the very ass end of space. Truly, my life's goal has been achieved.â⬠I shrugged. ââ¬Å"So let us do it,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I beg your pardon,â⬠Bennett said. ââ¬Å"If all you're doing is making sure the printer doesn't jam, that's something we could do for you,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"We'll work for you for a couple of hours, and in exchange you let us use a couple of PDAs while we're here. And then you can do whatever else you need to do.â⬠ââ¬Å"Or just go have lunch,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"Surprise your wife.â⬠Bennett was silent for a minute, considering. ââ¬Å"Offering to actually help me,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"No one's tried that tactic before. Very sneaky.â⬠ââ¬Å"We try,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"And it is lunchtime,â⬠Bennett said. ââ¬Å"And it is just printing.â⬠ââ¬Å"It is,â⬠I agreed. ââ¬Å"I suppose if you mess things up horribly it won't be too bad for me,â⬠Bennett said. ââ¬Å"Your parents won't punish me for your incompetence.â⬠ââ¬Å"Nepotism working for you,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Not that there will be a problem,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"No,â⬠I agreed. ââ¬Å"We're excellent printer monkeys.â⬠ââ¬Å"All right,â⬠Bennett said, and reached across his worktable to grab his PDA. ââ¬Å"You can use my PDA. You know how to use this?â⬠I gave him a look. ââ¬Å"Sorry. Okay.â⬠He punched up a queue of files on the display. ââ¬Å"These are files that need to go through today. The printer is thereâ⬠ââ¬â he motioned to the far end of the worktable ââ¬â ââ¬Å"and the paper is in that bin. Feed it into the printer, stack the finished documents next to the printer. If it jams, and it will, several times, just yank out the paper and let it autofeed a new one. It'll automatically reprint the last page it was working on. While you're doing that you can sync up to the Entertainment archive. I downloaded all those files into one place.â⬠ââ¬Å"You downloaded everyone's files?â⬠I asked, and felt ever so slightly violated. ââ¬Å"Relax,â⬠Bennett said. ââ¬Å"Only public files are accessible. As long as you encrypted your private files before you turned in your PDA, like you were told to, your secrets are safe. Now, once you access a music file the speakers will kick on. Don't turn them up too high or you won't be able to hear the printer jam.â⬠ââ¬Å"You have speakers already set up?â⬠Gretchen asked. ââ¬Å"Yes, Miss Trujillo,â⬠Bennett said. ââ¬Å"Believe it or not, even chunky middle-aged men like to listen to music.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know that,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"My dad loves his.â⬠ââ¬Å"And on that ego-deflating note, I'll be off,â⬠Bennett said. ââ¬Å"I'll be back in a couple of hours. Please don't destroy the place. And if anyone comes in asking if they can borrow a PDA, tell them the answer is no, and no exceptions.â⬠He set off. ââ¬Å"I hope he was being ironic there,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Don't care,â⬠Gretchen said, and grabbed for the PDA. ââ¬Å"Give me that.â⬠ââ¬Å"Hey,â⬠I said, holding it away from her. ââ¬Å"First things first.â⬠I set up the printer, queued the files, and then accessed ââ¬Å"Delhi Morning.â⬠The opening strains flowed out of the speakers and I soaked them in. I swear I almost cried. ââ¬Å"It's amazing how badly you remembered this song,â⬠Gretchen said, about halfway though. ââ¬Å"Shhhhh,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Here's that part.â⬠She saw the expression on my face and kept quiet until the song was done. Two hours is not enough time with a PDA if you haven't had access to one in months. And that's all I'm going to say about that. But it was enough time that both Gretchen and I came out of the information center feeling just like we'd spent hours soaking in a nice hot bath ââ¬â which, come to think of it, was something that we hadn't done for months either. ââ¬Å"We should keep this to ourselves,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"Yes,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Don't want people to bug Mr. Bennett.â⬠ââ¬Å"No, I just like having something over everyone else,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"There aren't a lot of people who can carry off petty,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Yet somehow you do.â⬠Gretchen nodded. ââ¬Å"Thank you, madam. And now I need to get back home. I promised Dad I'd weed the vegetable garden before it got dark.â⬠ââ¬Å"Have fun rooting in the dirt,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Thanks,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"If you were feeling nice, you could always offer to help me.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm working on my evil,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Be that way,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"But let's get together after dinner tonight to practice,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Now that we know how to sing that part.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sounds good,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"Or will, hopefully.â⬠She waved and headed off toward home. I looked around and decided today would be a good day for a walk. And it was. The sun was up, the day was bright, particularly after a couple of hours in the light-swallowing information center, and Roanoke was deep into spring ââ¬â which was really pretty, even if it turned out that all the native blooms smelled like rotten meat dipped in sewer sauce (that description courtesy of Magdy, who could string together a phrase now and then). But after a couple of months, you stop noticing the smell, or at least accept there's nothing you can do about it. When the whole planet smells, you just have to deal with it. But what really made it a good day for a walk was how much our world has changed in just a couple of months. John and Jane let us all out of Croatoan not too long after Enzo, Gretchen, Magdy and I had our midnight jog, and the colonists had begun to move into the countryside, building homes and farms, helping and learning from the Mennonites who were in charge of our first crops, which were already now growing in the fields. They were genetically engineered to be fast-growing; we'd be having our first harvest in the not too far future. It looked like we were going to survive after all. I walked past these new houses and fields, waving to folks as I went. Eventually I walked past the last homestead and over a small rise. On the other side of it, nothing but grass and scrub and the forest in a line to the side. This rise was destined to be part of another farm, and more farms and pastures would cut up this little valley even further. It's funny how even just a couple thousand humans could start to change a landscape. But at the moment there was no other person in it but me; it was my private spot, for as long as it lasted. Mine and mine alone. Well, and on a couple of occasions, mine and Enzo's. I laid back, looked up at the clouds in the sky, and smiled to myself. Maybe we were in hiding at the farthest reaches of the galaxy, but right now, at this moment, things were pretty good. You can be happy anywhere, if you have the right point of view. And the ability to ignore the smell of an entire planet. ââ¬Å"Zoe,â⬠said a voice behind me. I jerked up and then saw Hickory and Dickory. They had just come over the rise. ââ¬Å"Don't do that,â⬠I said, and got up. ââ¬Å"We wish to speak to you,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"You could do that at home,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Here is better,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"We have concerns.â⬠ââ¬Å"Concerns about what?â⬠I said, and rose to look at them. Something wasn't quite right about either of them, and it took me a minute to figure out what it was. ââ¬Å"Why aren't you wearing your consciousness modules?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"We are concerned about the increasing risks you are taking with your safety,â⬠Hickory said, answering the first but not the second of my questions. ââ¬Å"And with your safety in a general sense.â⬠ââ¬Å"You mean, being here?â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Relax, Hickory. It's broad daylight, and the Hentosz farm is just over the hill. Nothing bad is going to happen to me.â⬠ââ¬Å"There are predators here,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"There are yotes,â⬠I said, naming the dog-sized carnivores that we'd found lurking around Croatoan. ââ¬Å"I can handle a yote.â⬠ââ¬Å"They move in packs,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"Not during the day,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"You do not only come here in the day,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"Nor do you always come alone.â⬠I reddened a bit at that, and thought about getting angry with Hickory. But it wasn't wearing its consciousness. Getting angry with it wouldn't do anything. ââ¬Å"I thought I told the two of you not to follow me when I want to have some private time,â⬠I said, as evenly as I could. ââ¬Å"We do not follow you,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"But neither are we stupid. We know where you go and with whom. Your lack of care is putting you at risk, and you do not always allow us to accompany you anymore. We cannot protect you as we would prefer to, and are expected to.â⬠ââ¬Å"We have been here for months, guys.â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"There hasn't been a single attack on anyone by anything.â⬠ââ¬Å"You would have been attacked that night in the woods had Dickory and I not come to find you,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"Those were not yotes in the trees that night. Yotes cannot climb or move through trees.â⬠ââ¬Å"And you'll notice I'm nowhere near the forest,â⬠I said, and waved in the direction of the tree line. ââ¬Å"And whatever was in there doesn't seem to come out here, because we'd have seen them by now if they did. We've been over this before, Hickory.â⬠ââ¬Å"It is not only the predators here that concern us,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"I'm not following you,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"This colony is being searched for,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"If you saw the video, you'll remember that this Conclave group blasted that colony from the sky,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"If the Conclave finds us, I don't think even you are going to be able to do much to protect me.â⬠ââ¬Å"It is not the Conclave we are concerned about,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"You're the only ones, then,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"The Conclave is not the only one who will seek this colony,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"Others will search for it, to win favor from the Conclave, or to thwart it, or to take the colony for its own. They will not blast this colony from the sky. They will take it in the standard fashion. Invasion and slaughter.â⬠ââ¬Å"What is with the two of you today?â⬠I said. I was trying to lighten the mood. I failed. ââ¬Å"And then there is the matter of who you are,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"What does that mean?â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"You should know well,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"You are not merely the daughter of the colony leaders. You are also important to us. To the Obin. That fact is not unknown, Zoe. You have been used as a bargaining chip your entire life. We Obin used you to bargain with your father to build us consciousness. You are a treaty condition between the Obin and the Colonial Union. We have no doubt that any who would attack this colony would try to take you in order to bargain with the Obin. Even the Conclave could be tempted to do this. Or they would kill you to wound us. To kill a symbol of ourselves.â⬠ââ¬Å"That's crazy,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"It has happened before,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"What?â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"When you lived on Huckleberry, there were no fewer than six attempts to capture or kill you,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"The last just a few days before you left Huckleberry.â⬠ââ¬Å"And you never told me this?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"It was decided by both your government and ours that neither you nor your parents needed to know,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"You were a child, and your parents wished to give you as unremarkable a life as possible. The Obin wished to be able to provide them that. None of these attempts came close to success. We stopped each long before you would have been in danger. And in each case the Obin government expressed its displeasure with the races who made such attempts on your well-being.â⬠I shuddered at that. The Obin were not people to make enemies of. ââ¬Å"We would not have told you at all ââ¬â and we have violated our standing orders not to do so ââ¬â were we not in our current situation,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"We are cut off from the systems we had in place to keep you safe. And you are becoming increasingly independent in your actions and resentful of our presence in your life.â⬠Those last words hit me like a slap. ââ¬Å"I'm not resentful,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I just want my own time. I'm sorry if that hurts you.â⬠ââ¬Å"We are not hurt,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"We have responsibilities. How we fulfill those responsibilities must adapt to circumstance. We are making an adaptation now.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't know what you mean,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"It is time for you to learn how to defend yourself,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"You want to be more independent from us, and we do not have all the resources we once had to keep you safe. We have always intended to teach you to fight. Now, for both of those reasons, it is necessary to begin that training.â⬠ââ¬Å"What do you mean, teach me to fight?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"We will teach you to defend yourself physically,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"To disarm an opponent. To use weapons. To immobilize your enemy. To kill your enemy if necessary.â⬠ââ¬Å"You want to teach me how to kill other people,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"It is necessary,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"I'm not sure John and Jane would approve of that,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Major Perry and Lieutenant Sagan both know how to kill,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"Both, in their military service, have killed others when it was necessary for their survival.â⬠ââ¬Å"But it doesn't mean that they want me to know,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"And also, I don't know that I want to know. You say you need to adapt how you fulfill your responsibilities. Fine. Figure out how to adapt them. But I'm not going to learn how to kill something else so you can feel like you're doing a better job doing something I'm not even sure I want you to do anymore.â⬠ââ¬Å"You do not wish us to defend you,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"Or learn to defend yourself.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't know!â⬠I said. I yelled it in exasperation. ââ¬Å"Okay? I hate having my face pushed into all of this. That I'm some special thing that needs to be defended. Well, you know what? Everyone here needs to be defended, Hickory. We're all in danger. Any minute hundreds of ships could show up over our heads and kill us all. I'm sick of it. I try to forget about it a little every now and then. That's what I was doing out here before the two of you showed up to crap over it all. So thank you very much for that.â⬠Hickory and Dickory said nothing to that. If they had been wearing their consciousness, they'd probably be all twitchy and overloaded at that last outburst. But they were just standing there, impassive. I counted to five and tried to get myself back under control. ââ¬Å"Look,â⬠I said, in what I hoped was a more reasonable tone of voice. ââ¬Å"Give me a couple of days to think about this, all right? You've dropped a lot on me all at once. Let me work it through in my head.â⬠They still said nothing. ââ¬Å"Fine,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I'm heading back.â⬠I brushed past Hickory. And found myself on the ground. I rolled and looked up at Hickory, confused. ââ¬Å"What the hell?â⬠I said, and made to stand up. Dickory, who had moved behind me, roughly pushed me back into the grass and dirt. I scrambled backward from the two of them. ââ¬Å"Stop it,â⬠I said. They drew their combat knives, and came toward me. I grunted out a scream and bolted upright, running at full speed toward the top of the hill, toward the Hentosz farm. But Obin can run faster than humans. Dickory flanked me, got in front of me, and drew back its knife. I backpedaled, falling backward as I did. Dickory lunged. I screamed and rolled again and sprinted back down the side of the hill I came up. Hickory was waiting for me and moving to intercept me. I tried to fake going left but it was having none of it, and grabbed for me, getting a grip on my left forearm. I hit at it with my right fist. Hickory deflected it easily, and then in a quick reversal slapped me sharply on the temple, releasing me as it did so. I staggered back, stunned. Hickory looped a leg around one of mine and jerked upward, lifting me completely off the ground. I fell backward and landed on my head. A white blast of pain flooded my skull, and all I could do was lie there, dazed. There was heavy pressure on my chest. Hickory was kneeling on me, immobilizing me. I clawed desperately at it, but it held its head away from me on its long neck and ignored everything else. I shouted for help as loudly as I could, knowing no one could hear me, and yelling anyway. I looked over and saw Dickory, standing to the side. ââ¬Å"Please,â⬠I said. Dickory said nothing. And could feel nothing. Now I knew why the two of them came to see me without their consciousness. I grabbed at Hickory's leg, on my chest, and tried to push it off. It pushed it in harder, offered another disorienting slap with one hand, and with the other raised it and then plunged it toward my head in one terrible and fluid move. I screamed. ââ¬Å"You are unharmed,â⬠Hickory said, at some point. ââ¬Å"You may get up.â⬠I stayed on the ground, not moving, eyes turned toward Hickory's knife, buried in the ground so close to my head that I couldn't actually focus on it. Then I propped myself up on my elbows, turned away from the knife, and threw up. Hickory waited until I was done. ââ¬Å"We offer no apology for this,â⬠it said. ââ¬Å"And will accept whatever consequences for it that you may choose. Know only this: You were not physically harmed. You are unlikely even to bruise. We made sure of this. For all of that you were at our mercy in seconds. Others who will come for you will not show you such consideration. They will not hold back. They will not stop. They will have no concern for you. They will not show you mercy. They will seek to kill you. And they will succeed. We knew you would not believe us if we only told you this. We had to show you.â⬠I rose to my feet, barely able to stay upright, and staggered back from the two of them as best I could. ââ¬Å"God damn you,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"God damn you both. You stay away from me from now on.â⬠I headed back to Croatoan. As soon as my legs could do it, I started running. ââ¬Å"Hey,â⬠Gretchen said, coming into the information center and sealing the inside door behind her. ââ¬Å"Mr. Bennett said I could find you here.â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I asked him if I could be his printer monkey a little more today.â⬠ââ¬Å"Couldn't keep away from the music?â⬠Gretchen said, trying to make a little joke. I shook my head and showed her what I was looking at. ââ¬Å"These are classified files, Zoe,â⬠she said. ââ¬Å"CDF intelligence reports. You're going to get in trouble if anyone ever finds out. And Bennett definitely won't let you back in here.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't care,â⬠I said, and my voice cracked enough that Gretchen looked at me in alarm. ââ¬Å"I have to know how bad it is. I have to know who's out there and what they want from us. From me. Look.â⬠I took the PDA and pulled a file on General Gau, the leader of the Conclave, the one who ordered the destruction of the colony on the video file. ââ¬Å"This general is going to kill us all if he finds us, and we know next to nothing about him. What makes someone do this? Killing innocent people? What happened in his life that gets him to a place where wiping out entire planets seems like a good idea? Don't you think we should know? And we don't. We've got statistics on his military service and that's it.â⬠I tossed the PDA back on the table, carelessly, alarming Gretchen. ââ¬Å"I want to know why this general wants me to die. Why he wants us all to die. Don't you?â⬠I put my hand on my forehead and slumped a little against the worktable. ââ¬Å"Okay,â⬠Gretchen said, after a minute. ââ¬Å"I think you need to tell me what happened to you today. Because this is not how you were when I left you this afternoon.â⬠I glanced over at Gretchen, stifled a laugh, and then broke down and started crying. Gretchen came over to give me a hug, and after a good long while, I told her everything. And I do mean everything. She was quiet after I had unloaded. ââ¬Å"Tell me what you're thinking,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"If I tell you, you're going to hate me,â⬠she said. ââ¬Å"Don't be silly,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I'm not going to hate you.â⬠ââ¬Å"I think they're right,â⬠she said. ââ¬Å"Hickory and Dickory.â⬠ââ¬Å"I hate you,â⬠I said. She pushed me lightly. ââ¬Å"Stop that,â⬠she said. ââ¬Å"I don't mean they were right to attack you. That was just over the line. But, and don't take this the wrong way, you're not an ordinary girl.â⬠ââ¬Å"That's not true,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Do you see me acting any different than anyone else? Ever? Do I hold myself out as someone special? Have you ever once heard me talk about any of this to people?â⬠ââ¬Å"They know anyway,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"I know that,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"But it doesn't come from me. I work at being normal.â⬠ââ¬Å"Okay, you're a perfectly normal girl,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"Thank you,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"A perfectly normal girl who's had six attempted assassinations,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"But that's not me,â⬠I said, poking myself in the chest. ââ¬Å"It's about me. About someone else's idea of who I am. And that doesn't matter to me.â⬠ââ¬Å"It would matter to you if you were dead,â⬠Gretchen said, and then held her hand up before I could respond. ââ¬Å"And it would matter to your parents. It would matter to me. I'm pretty sure it would matter to Enzo. And it seems like it would matter a whole lot to a couple billion aliens. Think about that. Someone even thinks about coming after you, they bomb a planet.â⬠ââ¬Å"I don't want to think about it,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I know,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"But I don't think you have a choice anymore. No matter what you do, you're still who you are, whether you want to be or not. You can't change it. You've got to work with it.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thanks for that uplifting message,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I'm trying to help,â⬠Gretchen said. I sighed. ââ¬Å"I know, Gretchen. I'm sorry. I don't mean to bite your head off. I'm just getting tired of having my life be about other people's choices for me.â⬠ââ¬Å"This makes you different than any of the rest of us how, exactly?â⬠Gretchen asked. ââ¬Å"My point,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I'm a perfectly normal girl. Thank you for finally noticing.â⬠ââ¬Å"Perfectly normal,â⬠Gretchen agreed. ââ¬Å"Except for being Queen of the Obin.â⬠ââ¬Å"Hate you,â⬠I said. Gretchen grinned. ââ¬Å"Miss Trujillo said that you wanted to see us,â⬠Hickory said. Dickory and Gretchen, who had gotten the two Obin for me, stood to its side. We were standing on the hill where my bodyguards had attacked me a few days earlier. ââ¬Å"Before I say anything else, you should know I am still incredibly angry at you,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I don't know that I will ever forgive you for attacking me, even if I understand why you did it, and why you thought you had to. I want to make sure you know that. And I want to make sure you feel it.â⬠I pointed to Hickory's consciousness collar, secure around its neck. ââ¬Å"We feel it,â⬠Hickory said, its voice quivering. ââ¬Å"We feel it enough that we debated whether we could turn our consciousness back on. The memory is almost too painful to bear.â⬠I nodded. I wanted to say good, but I knew it was the wrong thing to say, and that I would regret saying it. Didn't mean I couldn't think it, though, for the moment, anyway. ââ¬Å"I'm not going to ask you to apologize,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I know you won't. But I want your word you will never do something like that again,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"You have our word,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"Thank you,â⬠I said. I didn't expect they would do something like that again. That sort of thing works once if it works at all. But that wasn't the point. What I wanted was to feel like I could trust the two of them again. I wasn't there yet. ââ¬Å"Will you train?â⬠Hickory asked. ââ¬Å"Yes,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"But I have two conditions.â⬠Hickory waited. ââ¬Å"The first is that Gretchen trains with me.â⬠ââ¬Å"We had not prepared to train anyone other than you,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"I don't care,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Gretchen is my best friend. I'm not going to learn how to save myself and not share that with her. And besides, I don't know if you've noticed, but the two of you aren't exactly human shaped. I think it will help to practice with another human as well as with you. But this is nonnegotiable. If you won't train Gretchen, I won't train. This is my choice. This is my condition.â⬠Hickory turned to Gretchen. ââ¬Å"Will you train?â⬠ââ¬Å"Only if Zoe does,â⬠she said. ââ¬Å"She's my best friend, after all.â⬠Hickory looked over to me. ââ¬Å"She has your sense of humor,â⬠it said. ââ¬Å"I hadn't noticed,â⬠I said. Hickory turned back to Gretchen. ââ¬Å"It will be very difficult,â⬠it said. ââ¬Å"I know,â⬠Gretchen said. ââ¬Å"Count me in anyway.â⬠ââ¬Å"What is the other condition?â⬠Hickory asked me. ââ¬Å"I'm doing this for the two of you,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"This learning to fight. I don't want it for myself. I don't think I need it. But you think I need it, and you've never asked me to do something you didn't know was important. So I'll do it. But now you have to do something for me. Something I want.â⬠ââ¬Å"What is it that you want?â⬠Hickory asked. ââ¬Å"I want you to learn how to sing,â⬠I said, and gestured to Gretchen. ââ¬Å"You teach us to fight, we teach you to sing. For the hootenannies.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sing,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"Yes, sing,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"People are still frightened of the two of you. And no offense, but you're not brimming with personality. But if we can get the four of us to do a song or two at the hootenannies, it could go a long way to making people comfortable with you.â⬠ââ¬Å"We have never sung,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"Well, you never wrote stories before either,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"And you wrote one of those. It's just like that. Except with singing. And then people wouldn't wonder why Gretchen and I are off with the two of you. Come on, Hickory, it'll be fun.â⬠Hickory looked doubtful, and a funny thought came to me: Maybe Hickory is shy. Which seemed almost ridiculous; someone about to teach another person sixteen different ways to kill getting stage fright singing. ââ¬Å"I would like to sing,â⬠Dickory said. We all turned to Dickory in amazement. ââ¬Å"It speaks!â⬠Gretchen said. Hickory clicked something to Dickory in their native tongue; Dickory clicked back. Hickory responded, and Dickory replied, it seemed a bit forcefully. And then, God help me, Hickory actually sighed. ââ¬Å"We will sing,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"Excellent,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"We will begin training tomorrow,â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"Okay,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"But let's start singing practice today. Now.â⬠ââ¬Å"Now?â⬠Hickory said. ââ¬Å"Sure,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"We're all here. And Gretchen and I have just the song for you.ââ¬
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